Do you think that you recognize love right away? Or is it something that grows on you? Can it be both? Are they both acceptable?
I'm in love. These questions I ask are not asked so that I can justify the craziness I've been slapped with over the past month, but to have a conversation about love- and how it comes about.
My past experiences with love have been pretty unfavorable considering the confusion between lust and love is to be expected from an 18 year old pregnant chick. So I know the difference. Maybe I don't, but I can feel the difference. My failed marriage shed light onto what is and what isn't love. Not that love has a hand book that lays out the limits and rules to what love should be, but I am fairly certain "I hate you, you slutty whore" is not something that someone you love wants to hear.
Now, I've been seeing this guy for a month. I love him. It goes against what I've said all along, it goes against what your mother tells you, what your friends tell you... "Only a month? You can't possibly love him!" But I do. So there, I've said it... it's out there for all 3 of you to read. I've fallen in love with a man I've been seeing for a month. But here's the thing, I fell in love with him on our first date. Sparks weren't flying, we didn't have this unbelievable date that went perfectly, but the first time our eyes met my heart quit beating. It was a rainy day, extremely muggy, and there was way too many people out in the French Quarter. We went to the French Market grill and ate horribly made po-boys under a leaky airconditioning vent. We got lost trying to find the movie theater and ended up watching Diary of Wimpy Kid with thirty 12 year olds. The imperfections of the day fell to pieces around my feet because all I saw was that something I've been looking for. Happiness.
I didn't find the happiness in him or even in the way he makes me feel. I found it in the small moments through out the night, the stupid jokes, the rain that frizzed my hair. I continue to find this happiness. Maybe it IS him, maybe HE is the happiness, but I find it easier to find happiness in other things in my life because of him. We're in love, we're in happiness.