Friday, February 26, 2010

Walking in circles.

People usually tell me "You're only 21. You have a lot of life to live, you'll find happiness soon."

I call bullshit.

I grew up in a household where I was provided for, and that is where it ended. My family cares about me, and they love me. But they don't need me. It wouldn't make a difference to them if I was here in New Orleans or home with them. My dad moved here for a few months, and just when I thought a great father-daughter relationship was forming, he left.

The fact that I am divorced at 21 doesn't say much either. It doesn't count, lust isn't love and there isn't even a fine line between the two. It's a thick line. The way I was treated during my marriage was equivalent to the way a lonely dog who is always caged up in the back yard is treated.

The guy I have been seeing that I told you about is leaving. He's moving home. I honestly felt like this was it, like I found someone who could help me be happy for once. He cried when he told me which leads me to believe that he did like me as much as I liked him. But his father is sick, so he has to go.

I don't care how old I am. Happiness isn't like becoming the legal age to drink, it shouldn't be limited. I think for what it is worth, I deserve a heaping spoonful of happiness.


  1. hopinh your heaping spoonful finds you soon. smiles.

    sucks about the guy...nothing is random...your time will come...

  2. "I don't care how old I am. Happiness isn't like becoming the legal age to drink, it shouldn't be limited."

    True, but there are happy humans living in monasteries. External conditions won't bring happiness without inner contentment.

  3. I always live by the philosophy "Know failure first then know success".

    Now you have the rest of your life to look for that someone who'll make you happy and the good thing about the divorce is now you know better what you do NOT want in a relationship.

    Hope you find that someone soon...and keep up being you! ;p