....Flamingo?

Picture this:

A 6'4'' male, whiter than snow, decked out in Mudd jeans from the juniors section at JC Penneys, a white tank top with a glitter embedded skull and cross bones on the front, platinum gold eye shadow, wedged flip flops and one of those fuzzy back packs that looks like a stuffed animal. He's standing next to the cashier at the front of the Dollar General holding a giant plastic lawn flamingo chatting about his recent purchase. A crotch rocket.

He says, "Okay girl, I'm heading over to the varsity baseball game. I think I'm their biggest fan!"

My question? Why are you bringing a giant plastic lawn flamingo to a baseball game?