Friday, January 29, 2010

Hey, you.

I haven't posted in a while. I could blame it on my day to day busyness, but I'll be honest. I'm in the oh so familiar depression slump induced by the Vikings. We are cursed. And we fumble a lot, but I digress. I'm now looking forward to the next season. Will it be Favre? McNabb? T-Jack? It's a regular soap opera in Minneapolis, all the time. So I am going to swallow my pride for one Sunday, and be a Saint for a day. There is a difference between who I want to win, and who I think will win like I've said many times before. But I'm pulling for the Who Dats.

As far as my personal life goes, things have kind of settled for me. I feel like I can for once finally breathe easy. My dad has been gone for almost a month, all my bills are coming up- and guess what!? I have the money to pay them all! Sometimes draining your bank account until you have nothing left but the rotten bologna in your fridge can be kind of awesome. Only until I need a cigarette, and I've done collected all the tobacco from the butts to make one giant lumpy cigarette.

The cop stopped talking to me. Or, we stopped talking to each other. I think it was the age difference. Or the fact that he wears tighty whiteys. Honestly, I think the men I date get annoyed by my humor. I have very dry, sarcastic humor and these southern boys just don't understand it. Or I am just completely fucked. How well do you think a mass text message to all my booty calls will work out?

On a completely unrelated note: This morning at 5 AM I woke up and had to um, go number two, really badly. So in a digestive fit, I ripped my pants off, flipped on all the lights, ran to the bathroom and sat down. Mid poop, I look up to realize I had left all my blinds open last night and I can see clearly into someone elses apartment across the courtyard. What did I see? A woman, sitting on her own toilet, staring directly at me. Then she waved. It was at that point I had an epiphany. I'm fucked for life. Completely weird and awkward things will happen to me on the D for the rest of my life. Forever.


  1. lol. the inicident with the lady is killing me...nice that she waved though. oh my. but hey you can pay your bills so thats a plus...and the vikings, they will be back one of these days. smiles.

  2. the bathroom incident... awesome.
    no southern men don't always get a northern girl's sense of humor... but it gets better. you start to weed out the ones that don't get the first joke you tell them, because they're a waste of time if they can't even get your starter joke. but you also get a little softer the longer and longer you're in this laid back part of the country.

  3. OMG the incident with you and the lady on the toilet ... priceless!!! So glad that you've posted again ... I was missing your posts! :) Hopefully the Vikings will be back soon! Glad to hear you can pay all your bills! As for the Southern boys ... there's someone out there for everyone! I learned this on a plane ride to Florida the other day when this disgusting smelly fat nose picking man was sitting there with his wife ... she wasn't the most attractive ... but hey if they can find each other ... shit there's someone out there for all of us! :) Good luck!

  4. oh my good lord I've found another chick football fanatic. THANK GOD!!!

    hi, i'm jaxie and i still haven't recovered from the vikings complete and total self destruction and bed shitting, even though the superbowl is over and the saints won and it was destiny and all that who dat blah blah blah.

    drew brees is pretty effing awesome though.

    we need to be friends. asap.

  5. hey you fell off the face of the earth...