I swear, penis is not all I care about.

This past weekend I went to The Cop's house. We watched a movie, had sex, then watched another movie, which vaguely reminds me of high school except neither one of us was stoned. Aside from the ridiculous Vin Diesel movie we mutually thought would be a good idea, it was nice. The sex and the comfortable quietness was refreshing. I think we're past the awkward getting-to-know-you stage, so boring each other with useless tidbits about our childhoods wasn't a requirement. We ended the night with a kiss, and him telling me he hopes to see me again soon. Yay me!

I also met Navy Dude. A first date, if there will be one, hasn't been established though. We'll see. He's a little goofy, and really, really nice. Like charities and violently cutting people off on the road so he can pull over and help the old lady bring her groceries into her house nice. Totally not a type Ive been into before, but why not? Beggars can't be choosers now can they?

That sounded horribly desperate and "I don't care as long as they have a dick" of me. Really it's more like... I don't care as long as they have a dick and somewhat of a personality. I'm kidding, for the most part. I promised myself Id be good to myself from now on. I deserve more than a personality with a nice sized cock, but I kind of feel like that's all I need right now. I won't fight a nice connection, but I'm young and I have too much on my plate that I can hardly handle. Worrying about men should be and is on the bottom of my list. Fun is all it is, and fun is all it will be for now.

I feel better.

Kind of. Maybe.

Five.

We went on a traditional date... coffee, conversation, then a movie. It was nice, he was refreshing to me. Older, but not exactly set in his ways. He was nervous, I was too, but slightly less than he was. He mentioned a second date, we'll see. He ended up texting me this morning, he went out with his buddies after our date and was hung over earlier. I'm not so sure that is a good sign for me. Going to get lit after a date with me?

I'm afraid that sometimes I come off as a pretty girl with a tight dress on and that's it. I think that I am often cut short, hardly given a chance to prove that I am not just a polished shell. I shouldn't have to prove anything, but I can't seem to find anyone that takes the second impression into consideration. I'm hoping we do have a second date, but I won't count on it, as I never do.

I'll stop this short day, or else I'll end up over analyzing everything.

Four. (Serial Dating)

I've been single for about a year now, and I've gone on a few dates. And by a few, I mean 8 or 9. I'm not lonely. I started dating because I thought it would be fun, instead I want to cry.

You see, I am young, fun, and Id like to think I am a sexy bitch. But I have some baggage. I am divorced and I have a 2 year old, it's more cargo than it is baggage, but I digress. It's hard keeping men around when you're all "Oh by the way, I am 21 and I have a two year old." So many times I've had a serious connection with someone, and as soon as I mention my kid, they are immediately dry humping some chick on the other side of the room. Understandable.

Men my age aren't really men, in my opinion. Not yet at least. There isn't anything wrong with that, as some women my age aren't really women yet. (I say only some because, well, come on. Women are much more mature and vaginas are prettier than dicks, so we win.) Honestly, if it weren't for my son, Id be right out there with them. Carefree for the most part, enjoying my early twenties. Even if I were to find a guy my age who has a child, chances are (especially here in New Orleans) he still hasn't crossed the manhood threshold yet. Id like to think I am an expert on this because I was married to someone who couldn't grasp the fact that it is not okay to sleep with women and stay out all night while you have a wife and infant at home.

So I am going on a date this Friday with an older man. (That sounds funny. No, he's not 83.) He's 16 years my senior, 37. Huge problems could arise from this age difference, but huge problems could arise from anything when it comes to dating. And it is just a date. But I over analyze and freak out over everything. And because he's a sheriff, I will refrain from smoking a joint before the date, how fucking paranoid would I be?!